Science shows setting goals makes us more likely to change, however the typical way we’ve been taught to set goals might be stopping you from achieving the outcome you want.
We know we want to change, we know we want to live differently, but when it comes to setting goals to get these results, we tend to set ourselves up for failure.
We have little clarity on what exactly we want to happen, and why we want it to happen, and even less clarity on the steps we need to take to get the result we want.
So we find ourselves saying things like:
“I probably should start eating healthier”
“why can’t I lose weight”
“If only I would exercise more often”
“I really should be saving more money…”
And then someone tells us to set SMART goals, and we go from having goals that are super vague to having goals that are super rigid.
Super rigid goals are often also super complex and rely on everything happening in a perfect sequence of events in order for us to succeed…
This quote from Precision Nutrition sums it up:
“When we feel frustrated or stuck in our current situation, making a complex plan filled with elaborate actions can provide us some temporary relief. And, our brain has several (normal) cognitive biases that prevent us from judging the future accurately. We often think we’ll have more time, energy, attention, and motivation in the future than we really do.”
Like a pendulum, we swing from one direction (vague) to the other (rigid, complex, and unrealistic), never settling in the happy middle where lasting results are found.
My friend, I have set goals like this more times than I can count.
In this article I’m going to share with you the framework I came up with to set better goals, and how you can use it to set goals for 2023 that you’ll actually achieve.
First, why SMART goals aren’t always helpful
SMART goals can be helpful if you have a small goal like a specific work project you need to complete by a deadline. But they’re not very helpful when we’re setting goals that are intended to change our lives. In fact, it’s quite limiting.
SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely.
- Specific is great. Keep the goal clear and defined.
- Measurable is also great. I consider “measurable” to mean we can track progress in some way, and know whether or not we are moving in the right direction.
- Achievable…not always great. Yes, you want your goal to be realistic in the sense that you can achieve them in real life, but the definition of “achievable” is where we often fall short. There are plenty of goals we want to set that don’t seem achievable at the time, but that we are still very much capable of achieving. Don’t limit yourself by what you believe is achievable in the moment. More on this in a moment.
- Relevant…not really needed in my opinion. Why would we ever set a goal that isn’t relevant to us in some way?
- Timely. I like this sometimes. Sometimes it’s helpful to set an end date, but not always. For example, does it matter whether we reach our weight loss goal by March 17th or June 21st? Not really, in the grand scheme of our lives. The process of working towards achieving the goal is more important than meeting a due date when it comes to life changing and transformational goals. Sometimes it’s more helpful to set check in dates to maintain a sense of achievement and progress.
Instead, set HABIT goals to create the life you want
Recently I came up with a framework for setting better goals that I am incredibly proud of. The type of goals I want more of in my life are called HABIT goals.
Yes, they’re about setting up habits that work for you, but there’s more to it than that.
HABIT goals are helpful, actionable, bendable, inspiring, and trackable:
Helpful – Is working towards this goal moving you closer to the life you want? Are you building new skills and growing as a person?
Actionable – What are daily or weekly actions you can realistically do?
Bendable – Are you able to adjust the plan if needed? Are your actions flexible enough to be doable in your real life situation? Have you planned to overcome any roadblocks you might encounter?
Inspiring – Are you excited and inspired by this?
Trackable – How will you track your progress so you know you’re moving in the right direction?
The focus of a HABIT goal isn’t necessarily on the goal itself, but the idea of who you are becoming along the way.
It’s about what specific actions you’ll be doing each day.
It’s about building new skills.
It’s about how working towards the goal makes you feel.
It’s about creating the life you want for yourself, not reaching arbitrary goals.
HABIT goals feel so much more aligned to me.
The purpose of setting goals isn’t to achieve the goal
The big idea behind HABIT goals is embracing the journey of who you’re becoming.
Just like Winston Churchill said, “Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential.”
Planning your HABIT goal is important to send you in the right direction. But the point is to embark on the journey, not to reach the goal. Plans always change, and that’s why I love the “bendable” part of HABIT goals.
Most of us get so caught up in achieving our goals that we forget why we’re doing things. We don’t let ourselves adjust the plan, even if things would realistically work out better a different way.
Let’s consider a weight loss goal. Why do you want to lose weight?
To fit into your clothes? yes.
To improve your health markers? Yes.
To feel fitter and healthier? Yes.
To improve your confidence? Yes.
To see a certain number on the scale? Well, probably not.
If you achieved the number on the scale, but none of those other things, would that still be a success for you?
If we’re being honest with ourselves, it wouldn’t be. What would be the point?
When we get fixated on achieving the goal, we tend to lose sight of what really matters.
If the number on the scale was 10kg higher than your “goal weight”, but you had achieved all of the above – you felt amazing, you were healthy, you were fit, you felt comfortable in awesome clothes – wouldn’t that still be a success?
And who’s to say you couldn’t continue to see progress and lose more weight in the future, if you wanted to, right?
It’s time to rethink the way we pursue goals.
What if the purpose of you setting your goal was to embark on the journey of improving your health, mindset, and fitness?
What if the purpose of planning and goal setting was just to be more intentional with how you spend your time?
How might you approach your goals differently with this in mind?
Allow yourself to let go of goals that no longer excite you
There’s this weird thing that happens when we’re working towards goals…
We get so dogmatic about reaching this goal because “we said we would” that we forget to make sure the goal is still aligned with what we want.
My opinion: It’s completely OK, and even advisable, to let go of or heavily adjust goals that no longer excite you.
That’s why I added “Inspiring” as a key part of HABIT goals. Your goals have to inspire the shit out of you, otherwise what’s the point?
Why are you still working towards that goal that you don’t even care about anymore?
What if you put that time and energy towards a new goal that lights you up and moves you closer to the life you want for yourself?
Or what if you just changed your approach so it became fun again?
It’s ok to change your mind.
Regularly ask yourself why your goals are important to you, and how you can make the pursuit of those goals more fun or aligned.
Remember, the goals and specific habits aren’t the point. The point is the person you’re becoming and the life you’re creating.
When I shifted the way I approached goals to fit in with this HABIT framework, things started to change. I started to feel more inspired by what I was doing, I became excited to work towards new goals for myself.
I encourage you to use this framework for setting better goals and try setting a HABIT goal for yourself. See what happens!
Looking through a different and upgraded lens, those goals you’ve been chasing for years might just become inspiring and achievable once more.
