I’ve had a fixed mindset for as long as I can remember.
I believed I was a certain type of person, and that was that.
Not only did I believe this, but people around me also believed this and reinforced it constantly.
“That’s not like you…”
“You wouldn’t like this”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea with your personality type?”
(Side note: if you’re someone who believes personality is fixed, I recommend the book “Personality isn’t Permanent” by Benjamin Hardy)
Even today, after so many years of researching and practicing behaviour change strategies, I still find myself falling into the hole that is my old fixed mindset.
The difference is now, when I do fall in, I have the skills to get out again.
Today I’m going to share how I navigate those moments and practice a growth mindset, and how you can develop a growth mindset too.
What is a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is the belief that you (or others) are capable of change.
People with a growth mindset tend to value effort, learning, and building skills. They realise that things they aren’t very good at, or traits they don’t have, are just skills they haven’t built yet.
If you want to make changes in your life, like advancing in your career, losing weight, or even sleeping better, you need to have a growth mindset in order to make these changes.
It’s extra challenging to lose weight if you believe weight loss is inherently hard for you.
Just like it’s extra challenging to sleep better if you label yourself as a “bad sleeper”.
Someone with a growth mindset doesn’t accept these limitations, because they know they are capable of losing weight or improving their sleep, even if they haven’t figured out how to do it yet.
Those with a growth mindset understand that every failure is a learning opportunity. Even when they don’t get the results they want, or they don’t hit their goal, they know they’ve learnt a lot along the way and are willing to try again using what they have learned to improve.
They reward and celebrate effort, not only results.
A growth mindset empowers us to take control of our lives and appreciate the journey rather than focusing on the result alone, which is why it is a common trait in those who are successful and happy.
What is a fixed mindset?
A fixed mindset, on the other hand, leads to us feeling trapped and like we won’t ever be able to live the life we want.
People with a fixed mindset believe they are the way they are, and there are certain things they can’t change. They tend to wait for other people, or outside circumstances, to change so they can get the result they want.
A fixed mindset often leads to us focusing so intently on the immediate results we get, and if we don’t get that result quickly, we feel like a failure. This is why people with a fixed mindset (including myself in the past) often feel inadequate and like they will never measure up.
Perfectionists tend to have a fixed mindset. This comes from the belief that effort equals failure. In other words, the less effort you put in to achieve success, the better you are. They spend a lot of time trying to prove how perfect and smart they are naturally.
You can’t measure up in a fixed mindset world. You’re either good or you’re not, there’s no potential for growth (in your mind).
Growth vs. Fixed mindset
This quote sums up the difference between a growth vs. a fixed mindset nicely:
“In one world, failure is about having a setback. Getting a bad grade. Losing a tournament. Getting fired. Getting rejected. It means you’re not smart or talented. In the other world, failure is about not growing. Not reaching for the things you value. It means you’re not fulfilling your potential. In one world, effort is a bad thing. It, like failure, means you’re not smart or talented. If you were, you wouldn’t need effort. In the other world, effort is what makes you smart or talented.”
― Carol S. Dweck, Mindset
Something that stood out to me in the book “Mindset” is the idea that most of us develop either a growth or a fixed mindset in childhood.
Children who are praised only for their results or outcomes tend to develop a fixed mindset.
While children who are praised instead for their effort and hard work tend to develop a growth mindset.
The good news for those brought up with a fixed mindset is that change is possible – all of us are capable of developing a growth mindset.
How to develop a growth mindset
Flip your thinking from “I can’t” to “not yet”.
In her TED talk, Carol Dweck shares “two ways to think about a problem that’s slightly too hard for you to solve.”
“Are you not smart enough to solve it …. or have you just not solved it yet.”
When we get stuck thinking that we can’t do something because we aren’t smart enough or talented enough, we are stuck in a fixed mindset.
A simple thought reframe… “I just haven’t learnt the skills I need yet” can completely change the way you see a certain situation, and therefore the next actions you take.
For example, “I can’t lose weight”, a thought that feels hopeless and defeating, can be flipped to “I haven’t figured out how to lose weight in a way that works for me YET.” This second thought feels hopeful and empowering.
Ask yourself, “what can I learn from this?”
Even the toughest situations have silver linings. When things feel unfair, when it feels like you’re doing everything wrong, or when you feel like you’ve completely failed, ask yourself, “what can I learn from this?”
When we look for the learning opportunity, we start to see that failures are not the end of the road, they are just feedback.
In fact, some of the most successful and happiest people in the world are those who have experienced the greatest hardships. Why? Because they learnt from it and used their experience as fuel to move forward and grow.
Focus on the process rather than the outcome
When working towards your goals, focus on the things you have control over rather than the things you don’t. We often don’t have control over the outcome we get – the number on the scale, the amount in our bank account, the hours of deep sleep we get, etc.
But we do have control over our daily actions and what we choose to prioritise.
You can’t control the number on the scale, but you can control what you choose to put in your mouth, and how much exercise you choose to do.
You can’t control the number in your bank account, but you can control what you spend money on, or how much effort you put into your work.
You can’t control the hours of deep sleep you get, but you can control the time you go to bed, and the routine you go through before bed to give yourself the best chance at getting better sleep.
Start praising your own efforts, what I often call “how you choose to show up”, rather than the specific results you get.
You might just find changing your behaviour, and therefore your life, is much more achievable when you do.
At the end of the day, most of us have some kind of combination of growth and fixed mindset, often depending on the situation we are in.
If you find yourself getting stuck in your old fixed mindset, don’t despair. The very definition of a growth mindset is the belief that things are not static and they can change. So simply believing that you won’t have a fixed mindset forever is a growth mindset in and of itself.
There’s no such world where you think perfectly all the time and never experience a fixed mindset again…you’re still human and even the most accomplished people aren’t perfect. The more you practice, the more your growth mindset will start to become your natural and default way of thinking.
If you’re reading this article, out of all the things you could be reading right now, I think that says a lot about your mindset and your willingness to change.
You might already have more of a growth mindset than you think.
