It’s the middle of the night, and you’re lying in bed staring up at the ceiling wishing you could fall asleep because you’ve gotta get up in a few hours…
Should you check to see what time it is?
How about start counting sheep?
Maybe you read a book?
Lie there worrying that you’ll feel tired tomorrow?
All of the above?
In this article I’m going to share 2 things NOT to do if you wake up during the night (and what to do instead.) Let’s get into it.
2 things NOT to do if you wake up during the night
1. Look at stimulating screens (like phone, computer, or TV)
One of the first things many of us do when we can’t sleep is roll over and unlock our phone. We start scrolling, or reading emails, and before we know it we’re fully awake again…
How this is hurting you:
Most people assume the problem here is blue light. If that’s the case, then a yellow or orange filter on your phone or blue light blocking glasses should mean you can still use your devices without disrupting sleep, right?
Unfortunately not. These light filters don’t solve the main problem – you mind is being stimulated.
In order to sleep, our brain and nervous system needs to wind down. Keeping our mind active by watching tv that’s engaging, or by scrolling on your phone, is the opposite of the environment we need for sleep.
What you can do instead:
If you wake up during the night, try not to grab your phone. Instead, focus on activities that feel relaxing or calming, like reading a book (even on kindle) or doing some light stretching. Any activity that feels mindless and relaxing can work.
Listening to an audiobook, sleep meditation, or sleep music playlist can also be great ideas to encourage sleep and relax your mind.
The idea is that we want to relax your mind and body to help you get tired enough to sleep again.
2. Focus on things you can’t control.
Some of the most common sources of midnight anxiety are:
- Worrying about how tired you might be the next day
- Watching the clock or calculating how many hours of sleep you will (or won’t) get
- Focusing on how frustrated or annoyed you are that you’ve woken up
How this is hurting you:
Your mindset influences your sleep more than you think. In fact, many of our sleep problems stem from psychological factors rather than physical ones.
The more you worry about having bad sleep, the worse your sleep will be.
This is because our thoughts influence the way we feel. If we wake up at night and entertain thoughts of worry and frustration, we create a stress response in our body which further wakes us up.
What you can do instead:
If you want to get back to sleep, the goal is to calm the nervous system. Sleep can’t be forced, so accepting what is happening is the first step.
If you’ve woken up during the night, realise this is actually a normal part of our sleep cycle. Many people don’t realise this, but waking up during the night, even a few times, won’t hurt the quality of your sleep.
When we are in the stage of sleep called “light sleep” we aren’t conscious of the fact that we’re asleep. Sometimes you might be lying in bed in the middle of the night and drifting into light sleep, yet not realising this is happening.
Waking up only starts to become disruptive if we lie awake for a long time because we are worrying or ruminating on thoughts.
Ask yourself, “what if waking up during the night wasn’t a problem?” How might you respond differently to waking up during the night if you thought it was a normal part of the sleep cycle?
When we try to force sleep, it unfortunately tends to have the opposite effect.
This is why meditation or breathing exercises can be a helpful solution. These exercises help us build the skill of mindfulness, where we can focus on the present moment rather than worrying about our sleep. It’s a skill to be aware of your thoughts without needing to react to them.
Another technique for dealing with stressful thoughts during the night is journaling. Specifically doing what is called a “thought download”. This is where you keep a notebook beside the bed and write down everything that’s in your brain at the time. This gets all the unhelpful thoughts out of your head, which can calm your mind and allow you to drift off to sleep.
Let’s face it, you’re not going to solve those problems at 2am so why bother worrying about it?
Waking up during the night is normal
Most of us make waking up a problem when it doesn’t need to be, which only exacerbates our sleep issues. This is a cycle that can be tough to get out of if we don’t address our mindset around sleep.
Accept that waking up is going to happen, and go in with a plan of (relaxing) attack.
Any mind stimulation is a no-no. Anything relaxing, even if it involves getting out of bed, can be helpful.
Let go of the need to force yourself to get back to sleep, because it’s not possible anyway! Allow it to take as long as it takes and, paradoxically, you’ll find sleep comes much sooner.
Remember: all humans sleep. You will fall asleep eventually, even if it doesn’t feel like it in that moment.
